Friday, April 16, 2010

01-24-10

Im lost in your smile,

Everytime we hug I never want to let you go.

your soft skin and delicate figure,

contradicts your personality.

your my voice of reason, I miss your eyes.

I
love talking to you,

even if I'm lied to most of the time.

Your afraid to love,

you live to hate.

but when you finally fall upon these hands,

I will finally remember your name.

Yet Ill whisper mine close to you and you'll forget it.

Will I just be another chapter to your book?

Ive poured my feelings to you,

but have you done the same?

My heart is too broken,

too weak,

too sad

to rely upon words....


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A Love Letter To Whom It May Concern

You,

Though you may not feel the same. And I am quite sure this is much true than what I dream everyday. I expect you not to repay the sweet foolishness that I have carelessly and aimlessly thrown at your window, though tightly closed, I beg you just to consider. No, I don’t need you to acknowledge my efforts – I don’t want to feel as if I am incapacitated. I don’t need you to pity the wilted roses lain at your doorstep or the weakness of my knees when I try to approach you. Just consider. See me and consider. See me, not as someone begging, but someone offering. Consider what I could give though you may not accept it. Mere consideration my love and I will not be in vain.

I remember waiting for you. Just a simple glimpse of you. That was my symbol of hope. Hope is a placebo. You may not need my appreciation. You’re so used to it, maybe in the verge of being sick of it. you have all of it everyday, every moment. You may not need my love, for love has been raining upon you, may it be from the purity of the skies or just some backyard sprinkler. You may not care, for it seemed that love for you is never scarce and fleeting. Just see me as the boy frozen solid in the afternoon sun every time you pass by with your friends laughing. I will look stupid. You will laugh, then consider that for a moment I made you smile. See me and consider.

You have been with the best crowd, worn the most fashionable clothes. But know that I am, still frozen for you, without them. You seem to need them every single day. I don’t need them to love you everyday. They describe you only as shallow, but these things opened my eyes to see you as someone empty. I saw you but I did not just consider you – I loved you. Shyly, silently, secretly and selflessly.


Please consider,


Me


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Infatuation^^

When I first met you,

I would have never imagined

that I would have such strong feelings for you.

I would have never thought,

that I would have dreams about you

or miss you three minutes after you leave

or my heart beating faster

when I think about you

or at the mention of your name.

When I first met you,

I would have never thought

that

I would LOVE you.

Friday, January 1, 2010

RanDom... Is it u?

It was a rainy tuesday afternoon,
3:10pm,
the clock on the wall signaled.
I was back at my usual spot in my workplace,
the cashier-cum-attendant's desk.
And with a day ahead of me i started to
input some thoughts in my random blogs.
Admitting to myself,
i am in need of someone i can call my own.
I need someone i can treat as a baby,
younger my age,
if possible.
I need a romantic,
someone who can hold my hands in public
without any care of what people might say,
somebody who is mentally able
and emotionally mature and
validatedly secured.
Somebody who's well being is stable,
and not superficially drawned...
"I know my limitations"
i said to myself as i entertain my first customer
for the day,
i can't be all that,
but im only 5'6 of medium built,
a moreno,
and with an average looks.
disillusioned, i started thingking that i can be a giver,
but if a mate-to-be seeks spark and magic at first glance,
i know i can't beat that.
i can give you fireworks in your night sky,
but i would have to draw it into some other
self-reserved channels.
I was born with such great culture and refinement,
an outstanding personality and was raised with an over-standard breeding,
believing that there is no mistakes in life,
but lessons to learn in each fall.
i love the long getting to know stage,
and i will not take away the part of saying
'hello you !'
to a complete stranger.

Friday, December 25, 2009

I'M BROKEN, ARE YOU?

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New Perspective

REGENERATION!


Dati akala ko wala na akong chance na magbago...

Pero hindi pala...

Di'ba sabi nila God is the God of Love and Forgiveness..

Thanks to Him..

Hahanap at hahanap pala si God ng way para mapalapit ka ulit sa kanya...

ng hindi mo namamalayan..

Isa lamang akong dakilang tanga, engot, pakawala sa mundong ito...

Akala ko hindi na Niya ako mahal,

pero ako lang pala ang nakalimut sa Kanya..

NEVER AKONG INIWAN NI GOD.

Ako ang umiiwan sa kanya, pero kahit gaano ako kasama, kahit kailan ay hindi niya ako pinabayaan...

Oo, hindi natin maiwasan ang masaktan, physically, at emotionally..
pero instead na magtanim pala tau ng grudge sa taong nakasakit sa atin,
let's BE POSITIVE...

Hindi nman siguro lahat ng bagay na nangyari sa inyo ng taong yun eh puro lang
sakit ang dulot niya..

Minsan sila rin ang ginagawang instrument ni God para mapalapit ulit tau sa kanya..

Ganito kasi yan...

Kung hindi kami naghiwalay ni "bespren" hindi ko makaka-fling si "Gambit"

(na sinaktan rin ako) w/c is a member of the Christian Youth REGENERATION..

at dito ko nakita ulit ang sarili ko..

at first may kunting hesitation kasi feeling ko OUT-of-PLACE ako,

palagi kasing umiiral ang negativity ko..

Pero I was wrong, this is where I belong..

I'm a son of God and this is HIS people..

I know all of us are sinners, no one is perfect..

But there's still hope..

God.

So choose hope.

Choose Him.



next blog ulit...

GOD BLESS!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Nakakaasar!!

Hahai...


Natry nio na bang magalit sa isang bagay na hindi dapat kagalitan>??

(ano daw?

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!


Badtrip ako ngaun mxado kasi,

kung kelan ang daming customers, saka magpapalya ang internet connection..


dagdagan mo pa ng ingay ng mga tambay sa shop na nakikigulo lang sa mga naglalaro,

jan pa ung mga teacher na magpapaxerox nga lang ng dalawang copies, eh minamadali ka pa..

dagdagan mo pa ng mga estudyanteng demanding pagdating sa games na gusto..

kesyo iba daw ang map ng dota, kesyo patching pa daw ang 12 sky..


PAGSASAPAKIN ko kaya tong mga to..

Kuya, bat walang firefox d2 sa unit ko!!!

Bwesit!!

eh kung ipalapa kita sa FOX!!

at pakainin ng FIRE!!!


GRRRRRRR!!!


sa totoo lang nde sana tungkol d2 ang bago kong blog..


xori kung ginawa ko nmang EMOTIONAL DIRT POOL ang blog na to...


kasi gagawa sana ako ng tungkol sa NEW FOUND LOVE ko..


cge next blog nlang ang tungkol sa kanya...


GOD bless...


^_^

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